The Journey has begun…

Last night I attended my first class at the University of Phoenix (UoP).  My field of study is Human Services, which is a broad term for individuals who have a desire to assist people with their basic physical and emotional needs.  We focus on the marginalized population and connect them with the services they need, become their advocate and work on a societal level to remove barriers that affect them.  This field includes a variety of career paths including caseworker, program coordinator or crises counselor.  Individuals who further their education can become psychologists, licensed clinical social workers (LCSW), psychiatrists, and licensed social workers (LSW) to name a few.  

My particular field of study is Human Services Management which will give me the foundation of human services (counseling, social work and psychology) with the management skills of planning, organizing, leading, assessing and evaluating.  This degree will be the foundation as I build my coaching practice Core Illuminations to work with inner city youth.  Core Illuminations Academy (C.I.A.) will work with students in the areas of coaching, public speaking, leadership, career focus and preparation for college (list not exhaustive).   

Before we go any further, I have a confession: I’m a nerd and I love it!! I went to Staples Tuesday and loaded up on school supplies and went home and organized everything.  Despite UoP being a green school, I still found myself printing out my reading material.  I need to be able to touch it, mark it up and makes notes.  Guess that makes me “old school”.  I've gone on my school website and created my personal page with picture included.  Most students are still trying to navigate the website and find out where their homework is located :-).

I also forgot how excited I get when I’m in an academic environment (this honors my value of learning).  There is something about walking on a campus and feeling the energy.  For me it’s not just about learning, it’s about the connection to people, ideas and passion. 

UoP classes are small (10 – 20 students average) which is great because it allows for an intimate connection with your teacher and fellow students.  We had a total of six students show up for class last night.  While this is not unusual, my teacher hopes to see the other four next week.   

My instructor is very passionate about his field and this comes across in his teachings.  As a life coach, it's always great to see someone emerged in their passion and sharing it with others. To give students a true working environment, UoP is big on “learning teams”.  This creates an opportunity for individuals of different ethnic backgrounds and personalities, to work together and learn from one another.  In most cases the instructor will allow students to select the people they want to work with.  To help me with this process, my student advisor gave me a few questions to ask myself when selecting people:  Did they arrive to class on time? Are they prepared for class? Do they have a pen to write with? Are they an active participant in the group discussions?  Do they seem flustered?  These are all good points to consider when selecting someone for your learning team.

Once class began, the discussion around Human Services was rich because my classmates and I brought our own life experiences into the conversation.  Real-life scenarios allowed us to view the subject from many different angles.  I already see the advantage of being an adult learner versus when I was in college many moons ago.  I’m more focused and have a greater level of determination.  I also don’t have time to waste.  I see my goal in sight and this journey is bringing me closer to it.

Those tips my advisor gave me about selecting a learning team paid off!  I'm working with a great team of fellow students that are dedicated and passionate about their growth and learning.  We meet this Sunday to put together our first team assignment.  I have a 5-page report on Human Services and a PPT presentation about Aging in America with my learning team due next week. We’ll each have 5 minutes to present our slides.  As a Toastmaster, I have experience in organizing, planning, timing and presenting speeches. These skills will come in handy.

Learning at UoP is rigorous but rewarding. Students are given several chapters to read and homework is due every week. Developing strong study habits will help tremendously.  Time management and organizational skills will also help as you plan your work.  In fact, this is critical since the UoP class structure is one class every 5 weeks!  Talk about focused and intense study!

I've noticed something about myself as I get closer to my dreams.  The fear I used to have about my abilities is no longer there.  This is not to say that I won't be challenged but the fear that I won't measure up is gone.  The same calmness I experienced when I began training as a coach is with me now at UoP.  When I opened myself to that experience, it yielded amazing discoveries.

I look forward to what this new journey will bring.

Hellena

The Leap

I had hit rock bottom. I doubted my abilities. I had the feeling that people were looking at me behind my back and shaking their heads with pity.  I was not satisfied with my life and my work standards suffered for it.  That’s when “she” came to me. She had been patiently waiting, giving me subtle hints that she was on her way and now “she” saw that I was ready for a change.

It was August 2006 and after just two months of marriage to my husband Peter, I was in the hospital having a hysterectomy. Needless to say I was devastated – but not lost.  “She” guided me to a therapist who helped me tremendously and “she” also placed a book in my path - Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap...And Others Don't by Jim Collins.  This book had a profound affect on me.   When the author instructed companies to find 3 things that they are really good at and focus only on them, I did that for myself.  My 3 greatest assets: an ease with public speaking, the ability to connect with people and my gift for helping people solve their problems were the things I decided to focus on and improve. These 3 things helped me to take my leap – and become one with her.

Values 

I realized that by focusing on my 3 greatest assets, they would connect me with my deepest values: trust, integrity, creativity, to be of service and to honor my self-worth.    Being conscious of those values made it easier for me to see when I was not honoring them.  Think about your values and how they connect with the work you do. If your work is engaging, challenges your intellect, is exciting and you look forward to it every day, it doesn’t seem like work.  But when your work is uninspiring and creates dissonance, you’ll find yourself dreading each task.  “She” knew my values and that as soon as I connected with them my journey would begin.

My Future Self

 You see “she” is me – Hellena, my future-self.  That part of me that didn’t see me as less than but more than I could ever imagine.  It wasn’t that Hellena was boastful, it was that she knew that in every situation, good, bad or indifferent, there was something I could learn as I moved forward in my life.

We all have a future-self – we just need to tap into it and have that discussion.  It is that part of us that does not live life by lack or limitation but by abundance and endless resources.  It does not see obstacles but rather opportunities for growth and learning.  It remembers how to dream and does it on a daily basis. It keeps life exciting.  It creates scenarios with the connector word “and” not “or”, “either” or “but”. As in “I can be successful and have a great relationship” versus “I can either have a thriving career or a great marriage”. It knows the importance of boundaries and when to say no to take care of self.

Making the leap

In January 2007 instead of making a resolution, I made a declaration. From now on I would be open to whatever the universe brought my way. I also made a conscious decision to honor my 3 assets.  First, I joined Toastmasters (Professional Women Toastmasters).  Not only did I become a better speaker, but when I joined the board and served my club, I also became a better leader. Secondly, after a short track with psychology, I decided to become a Life Coach.  I wanted to work with people and help move them forward in their lives. This career path addressed assets 2 and 3 simultaneously. My coaching practice Core Illuminations has expanded to include workshops and is ever growing.  Coaching also gave me one more gift: It helped me to find my creative side – designing jewelry.  Creations by Hellena was born from the freedom I gave myself to believe I had a creative outlet.  And it was further enriched by knowing that creating is not about perfection – it’s about allowing something to be.

These two career choices were a major shift for me because up until then I had only seen myself as nobody special.   How could I have the audacity to think someone would trust me with their most intimate fears and dreams?  That someone, other than my family and friends, would not only love my jewelry but pay me for it?  That wasn’t my future-self Hellena making those comments.  Alas, my saboteur aptly named Mr. Fear Procrastinator started whispering nuggets of self-doubt and worry in my ear.  I admit, for a while it kept me stagnated but because I was now connected to my values, Hellena had ammunition with which to battle those fears.  She said “Send out an email blast to family, friends and colleagues and tell them about your new coaching profession. What’s the worst that could happen?”   “Email pictures of your jewelry to that boutique.  It’s only an email, what harm can come from it?” Hellena took away the doubt and allowed my talents and gifts to speak for themselves.  In both instances, I was greeted with the word YES!  And what happens when you hear that word?  You want to hear it again!  Now that my fear had gone, I could approach perfect strangers and talk to them about what I did without fear of rejection because my PASSION was leading the discussion.

Now…

I look back and thank my future-self for her patience and steadfastness. I look back and thank the Universe for allowing me to fall – so that I could learn something new. I look back on those 5 years and see the many leaps I’ve taken and the growth, adventures and rewards I’ve received.  Now, Hellena and I make those leaps together…

I leave you with this: Discover and Nurture your 3 greatest assets.  They hold the keys to your sanity, health and happiness.  It is here that your future-self is waiting to take the next leap with you.  Don’t keep him/her waiting!

Kindness

I was driving home from a birthday party last Saturday night and my car started acting up!  In a nutshell, it overheated and cut off!!! Luckily I was taking an exit and was able to make it to the off-ramp before it completely shut down.  Needless to say, I was scared out of my wits.  I immediately called my husband and told him what happened.  He comforted me as much as he could over the phone and wanted to come to where I was located.  I told him I was fine and that I would call AAA and have them bring me and my broken car home.  To their credit, AAA sent a truck out immediately and I was soon on my way home. 

What happened before AAA arrived is what struck me.  A fellow driver stopped and asked if everything was alright.  That moment of kindness had a profound effect on me. I was so touched by his concern for a stranger.  In that instant, a calmness came over me. There are still people in the world that would take the time to help a stranger.

  

My incident, while scary, confirms my belief that there are angels everywhere waiting to help if we only open our hearts and minds to the possibility that they exists.  Of course, you have to be careful and listen to your intuition, for your own safety - and I was.  But what a great testament I can share.

That same evening, I got the opportunity to pay that kindness forward when my AAA driver and I came across a car with four young ladies whose car had just died like mine on the off ramp of the freeway.  My driver made a U turn and helped push their car out of harm’s way and I used my AAA card to get them assistance.  Luckily for them, they simply ran out of gas.  The driver was able to give them enough gas to get across the street and to the gas station!   

Kindness is all around us if we only take a moment to

look, appreciate and demonstrate it.

When was the last time you received kindness and paid it forward?